DEADLINE CHAOS

I don't like french fries very much. It's not that I actively, or aggressively DISlike french fries, it's that they just don't do an awful lot for me. As a result, I find that whenever I'm forced to eat french fries, when there just isn't anything else around, I eat an absurd amount of them, perhaps trying to compensate for my lack of enjoyment by loading on quantity, and always feeling roughly satiated when all is said and done, though perhaps not truly satisfied.

In what may have been the stupidest analogy ever, I have just illustrated how I feel, and how many seem to feel about this year's NHL trade deadline. There's something stimulating about knowing that it was the busiest, in terms of volume of players swapped, in NHL history, but the Leafs, Flames, Devils and Thrashers kind of ruined the potential for any earth-shattering, smack me across the face deals on deadline day today. Honestly, I probably couldn't sputter out even a third of today's/last night's deals off the cuff, which is why The Hockey News, and other sources have been kind enough to give us a full list, including many trades that I know I won't remember. Case in point, the Leafs acquire Chris Peluso from Pittsburgh for a 6th rounder.

I don't need to tell you what the biggest deals were, but I will break down who I feel won big today/in this bizarre, olympically extended trading season.

WINNERS
1. Phoenix Coyotes: For the 'Yotes, this is another step in what has become the NHL's feel-good story of the year, and another major sign that the NHL (who currently own the Phoenix franchise) means business in terms of making things work in the desert. For starters, they acquire a budding Wojtek Wolski (who happened to score the first NHL goal that I watched this season), a 24 yr-old who is hovering near 50 points, for Peter Mueller, who has not done anything if not underachieved, though he stills shows potential at only 21 years of age. Mueller may fit into an overall scheme in Colorado, but to me, the 30-point discrepancy between the two makes this robbery for Phoenix. Also up front, they pick up Lee Stempniak, another young-ish player, and a useful, 30-point winger from the Leafs, whose -10 doesn't look so bad when you frame it in blue and white. To round the day up, they 'Yotes brought in veteran Mathieu Schneider from Vancouver and bruiser Derek Morris for the Bruins, a player I've watched enough of to say that he's not an afterthought. Of the surprise teams this season, of which there are many, the Coyotes may have pulled themselves above the fray, and onto a level that can bring them into some very meaningful games this Spring.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins: They did it again. Ray Shero seems to bring this teams what it needs nearly automatically at this time of year. Jordan Leopold is a fine addition to the blue line, acquired at what has been now determined as the going rate for a 4th-5th D-Man, and Ponikarovsky adds that winger we've heard so much about, at a very reasonable price. A very good team rounds itself off.

3. New Jersey Devils: Ilya Kovalchuk is far too good to not make that deal look great by season's end.

4. Buffalo Sabres: Raffi Torres>Clarke MacArthur, at least right now, and of the long line of truly contending teams whose major defect has been a lack of scoring, this is the only one that delivered today.

5. Toronto Maple Leafs: Brian Burke has certainly made an awful lot of noise, and while some names that many expected to see on their way out, most notably Kaberle, are still floating around, many are not, and more importantly, there is star power AND cap space in Toronto. Harkening back to the Kessel trade would be unfair here; it was not a deadline deal, and Burke didn't know he might be risking Taylor Hall. In terms of their big early deals, adding Phaneuf brings a legitimacy and a name to the a Leafs Nation in need of both, and as far as Giguere goes, it's essentially a win-win: if they do commit to Gustavsson, J-S should serve as a good spell/mentor for him, and if they don't they now have insurance. Otherwise, they unloaded contracts, and perhaps more significantly they cleaned house on a team that has nosedived, and they stockpiled a bunch of picks.

LOSERS
1. Chicago Blackhawks: Anyone who has watched the Hawks regularly, or even just watched them last night realizes that right now, no one in Chicago is playing like a Stanley Cup netminder. The fanbase has been clamoring for something, and this appeared to be a buyer's market for goalies, yet the Hawks, at the early peak of their best window in a long time to break their cupless spell, will proceed with Cristobal Huet and Antti Niemi. This failure to upgrade alone puts them on top of a lot of people's losers list.

2. Boston Bruins: Peter Chiarelli all but guaranteed some major moves at the deadline for a Bruins team very much in need of a testoterone shot. Tuukka Rask has been very good, and they did piece together a 4-game win streak going into the break, but it's clear that this team, which gathered the most points in the East a year ago, is severely missing Phil Kessel, as they are currently the at the bottom of the team scoring statistic in the NHL. Especially with Patrice Bergeron, and every other decent forward on this squad, in iffy health states, they flat out needed to acquire a scorer, and instead, they casted off an OK D-man for a slightly better D-man.

3. Colorado Avalanche: I just don't like the Wolski deal for them one bit. Mueller has some potential, but he also has alot of fizzle out completely potential, and for a team that has generated some excitement with a Cinderella season, making a cap-cutting move and nothing else for the stretch run is underwhelming.

4. Montreal Canadiens: They did nothing, and yes, I'm counting the Moore/D'agostini deals as such, and right now, that's not good enough to make them a playoff team. The reason they make this list is because not trading Carey Price or Jaroslav Halak seems just criminal.

5. Philadelphia Flyers: Think of their deadline as a milder combo of Chicago's and Boston's put together; Emery is done for the year, and probably for good in Philly, and it was all but a foregone conclusion that they would bring someone in to replace him. He was, after all, one of their two major statement acquisitions in the summer. Like Boston, they are a team a year removed from being major contenders, yet to find a great flow this season, and no punch to help that along is no good.

Highlights of the night? At 7, the powerhouse matchup is Buffalo-Washington, while at 10 the Flames will try to right their ship, now looking in from the outside at the Western bracket, against a Minnesota team trying to re-insert itself into the discussion. I assume none of the newly dealt players will suit up tonight, though you never know.

On a totally unrelated note, as Alex Burrows continues to rack up points for my fantasy team, I begin to wonder if the Sedins have begun to call "bank" before he scores goals?